


Toddler's Best Friend

by Jacklyne



Series: How to Be an Average Wizarding Family: 101 [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Domestic, Established Relationship, M/M, draco hates that he loves him so much tbh, fluff and smut name a better duo i'll wait, harry is such a little shit, like hella domestic i stg
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-19
Updated: 2018-03-19
Packaged: 2019-04-04 13:23:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14021160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jacklyne/pseuds/Jacklyne
Summary: Out of all the creatures in the wizarding world, Harry just had to pick the most horrendous animal to be their son's new pet.Sometimes Draco just wanted to strangle the git.





	Toddler's Best Friend

**Author's Note:**

> Oh look another self-indulgent fic of sin because I can.
> 
> I WISH a Beezler was a real animal. Unfortunately, it's a creature from the video game Don't Starve and it's my favourite,, I'd link photos but unfortunately I don't know how but y'all can probably Google them lmao
> 
> also this was SUPPOSED to be a PURE, T RATED fic,, but my sinful hands decided that the best way to end this chapter was with almost-smut.  
> pls tell the government i am full of sin

Draco emerged from the floo exhausted, and with a tired grin on his face.

Being a Healer was as rewarding as it was tiring, but there was no better feeling than coming home to be with his family.

“I’m home!” He exclaimed into the house, knowing that his fiancé and son would be able to hear him no matter where they were in the house.

“In the office!” Harry’s voice called out from the same place upstairs as it did every day.

The familiarity washed over Draco as he stuck his robe out, knowing that Minny would be there to take it in a second.

_Pop._

“Welcome home, Master Malfoy,” Minny greeted with a smile, taking the robe off his hands.

Draco said his usual polite greeting in repose before the house elf apparated to a different part of the house.

This is what he loved the most. The familiarity and routine of it all. Having grown up with it as a Pureblood, one would assume he would stray away from it all as adult.

Believe him, he did try. Many times, in fact. In the end, both he and Harry found a balance and serenity in having a routine. Even if they were often thrown off balance.

Such as now.

“Papa!” Scorpius yelled from somewhere - most likely the kitchen - before he the patter of uncoordinated footsteps rushed towards him.

But before he did, Draco knew that Poppy would rush by him with whatever chore she had been working on. Usually laundry or misplace books or -

“Welcome home, Master Malfoy,” Poppy greeted, rushing past with neither books or laundry. Instead, the elf held a bowl of water in one hand and food scraps in the other.

Huh. That was new.

“Papa!” Scorpius exclaimed, giggling in his usual cheerful way.

_Buzz._

Draco paused. That was an unfamiliar sound.

_Buzz buzz._

Then, as if Voldemort himself had decided to raise an animal from Hell for his own personal enjoyment, Draco’s eyes widened in disgust as a bloody flying Beezler floated behind his toddling two year old son.

* * *

“He has six eyes, Harry.” Draco hissed while looking behind him, fingers curling around the wand in his pocket. For all he knew, that bloody bug could be trying to sneak up on him. He had stormed straight into his office as soon as he caught sight of it. It was horrific.

His fiancé seemed amused by this, chuckling lowly.

“All the more to admire you with, love.” He grinned at Draco widely, unashamed at the fact that he had doomed their entire family.

The Saviour of the Wizarding World, it seemed, had decided to relinquish his reputation for saving people. Here he was now, doing reckless things such as buying gigantic bugs bigger than their own son. Merlin, that Beezler could swallow Scorpius whole because of Harry.

That bastard.

“When we decided on getting a pet to keep Scorpius company while we were gone, I thought we were agreeing on a cat or Pygmy Puff. Hell, even a bloody rat would suffice! Send him back. Now.” He demanded through gritted teeth. Draco tried his best to send the most scathing glare at his partner.

But to no avail. After nine years of being together, Harry no longer felt intimidated by even the deadliest of stares from him.

From downstairs, Draco could hear their son’s laughter followed by loud, joyful buzzes.

That goddamn bug. _Trying to befriend our son so he can attack when we least expect it_. Well, that trick wouldn’t work on him. They might have already graduated from Hogwarts, but he was still a Slytherin through and through. He’d never be outsmarted by an oversized spider with tiny wings.

Out of all the creatures in the wizarding world, Harry just had to pick the most horrendous animal to be their son's new pet.

Sometimes Draco just wanted to strangle the git.

“Don’t be so rude to Mr. Cuddles.” Harry’s voice cut through his thoughts. Like now. Especially now. 

The only way he could protect his family was by using the stupid bee-spider crossbreed’s tricks against itself.

“Excuse me?” Draco raised an eyebrow at him.

“Mr. Cuddles,” Harry repeated with a nod of his had. “Scorpius named him. It was either that or ‘Ron!’,” The grin never left his face. Draco would’ve been more furious if he wasn’t so sympathetic to his husband for believing that the creature was harmless.

“Unbelievable. So he’s either named after a teddy bear or a little shit.” Draco threw his arms up in defeat.

The buzzing and childish laughter grew nearer.

“He’s like our second son.” Harry chuckled, reminding Draco of their recent conversation of the possibility of a second child.

Like Hell that Spawn of Satan would be any sort of kin to him. He was almost offended at the mere joke of having a Beezler as a pet, let alone a second son.  
  
Footsteps running up the stairs. Even more bloody buzzing.

“If he was our son, he’d take after you.” Draco huffed out, the sound of impending doom bounding its way closer to them.  
  
"Why are you so scared of a tiny little Beezler?"  
  
"I'm not scared, Potter. And it's not tiny, for Christ's sake."

“Papa, ‘ook!” Scorpius’ childish voice called from down the hall.

The buzzing grew deafening. Draco’s eye twitched. Perhaps that was another trick of the flying slimeball. To deafen its victims so they don’t hear it coming.  
  
Oh, yes. He would know all of the demon's tricks before the day was over.

“I’ll ‘’ook’ in a minute, darling!” He called over his shoulder, “You owe me.” His hissed at Harry.

“I’ll make up for it,” Harry promised, pulling the lapels of his cloak forward. He smiled seductively, inching near Draco’s lips.

“Of course you will,” The blonde muttered, leaning in, “By sleeping on the couch for the next six nights.” He pushed away, making his way out the office door.

“Six?!” Harry called from behind him.

Draco hummed in affirmation, stepping outside the room.

“One for each cuddly eye that _‘’ook’ed_ _'_ at me when I flooed home 5 minutes ago.” He shivered at recollection.

And apparently right now. Draco glumly came to the realization as Scorpius gleefully toddled into his arms, the Beezler loyally trailing behind the small toddler.

Its stupid little wings flapped rapidly back and forth, emitting light fluttering noises. Oh, how Draco despised it. Almost as much as he despised it’s orange eight little legs hanging from it’s furry fat purple body. The creature was a flying colour palette disaster.

It floated - _how on Earth did it float when it’s body mass was ten times its own body?_ \- unmoving (aside from it's flapping) behind Scorpius. Draco knew enough about Beezlers to know that if it was idle long enough, it would be begin bouncing up and down for its own entertainment.

The thought almost made him hurl.

Then, Mr. Cuddles blinked at him with all six eyes. Draco blinked back at it. It blinked again. And again. First with four eyes and then with the other two.

If there was a competition it was trying to do, he refused to let it win.

Draco looked right into one of his eyes and blinked.

_Take that you flying bastard of Death._

“- an’ Da’y said f’at a Beez’er was ‘our fav’i’e anima’! Mine is 'oo, Papa!” Scorpius practically yelled into Draco’s ear as he was readjusted onto his father’s hip.

Between the stupid buzzing and his son yelling into his ear whenever he became excited, the older Malfoy knew he would be deaf before he even began balding.

“He did, did he?” Draco faked a cheery smile at Harry, “ _Salaud_.”

He knew Harry didn’t understand a single word of French aside from ‘ _moi’_ and ‘ _je t’aime_ ’. Still, Draco relished in the way Harry’s smug little smirk fell off his face.

Scorpius gasped loudly and smacked his shoulder. “Papa! _Tu dois me’re deux cen'imes dans ‘e pot à insu’es_!”

“ _C’est un centime_ ,” Draco reminded the boy, and Merlin, who even taught him what ‘ _salaud_ ’ meant?

“ _Mais…_ ” Scorpius trailed off, sheepishly avoiding eye contact with him. He could feel the boy fiddling with the fabric of his shirt.

Draco arched a brow. “‘ _Mais’...? Quoi,_ Scorpius?”

“ _Rien…_ ” The toddler replied with a frown, obviously upset about not getting the extra pound in his swear jar. “ _Déso-uah._ ”

“ _Désolé_ ,” Draco corrected, before taking in Scorpius’ sad expression. He kissed his cheek as an attempt to comfort the boy.

Scorpius reacted instantly, and was quick to wrap his arms around his father and bury his face into his neck. It was a telltale sign of either guilt or fear. For what, Draco was unsure of.

“ _Ça va?_ ” He asked, trying to peer into his son’s face.

The boy in his arms nodded, smiling sadly. “ _Oui._ ”

Affectionately rubbing his nose against Draco’s, Scorpius wriggled onto the floor before toddling over to Harry.

“‘Ove you.” He said, hugging his other father’s legs.

Scorpius had always been an affectionate toddler, most likely due to the cuddles and kisses and indulgence in any kind of contact with his parents. Draco would say that he regretted causing his child to be more prone to affection, but he’d be lying.

Both Harry and he had more than their fair shares of embraces in alcoves and dormitories during their years at Hogwarts. It only made sense to include their first and only child in their cuddles.

Yet there was something… off about Scorpius. Perhaps it was a phase of clinginess?

Either way Harry and Draco exchanged looks of confusion, both shrugging their shoulders.

And then the horror came in. Draco, unfortunately, heard the monstrosity before he saw it.

A soft thump on the carpeted floor before a loud buzz of elation snapped all the attention. Harry and Scorpius began to laugh.

_Thump. Buzz._

Draco slowly turned on his heel, not quite ready to face the horrors he knew to be waiting behind him.

_Thump. Buzz._

There it was.

The Beezler happily thumped onto the ground, letting out a hum as it fluttered back up. Then it dropped back down. Again. And again. And again and again and- oh, sweet merciful Merlin, just kill him now.

“I need some air,” Draco declared, storming past the bumbling, buzzing, idiotic Beezler.

He'd find a way to figure out what was going on with Scorpius, _and_ get rid of 'Mr. Cuddles' before the blasted thing drove him to insanity.

* * *

"You mean you  _like_ having to accommodate for the Beezler?" Draco asked, not quite believing what he was hearing.  
  
Scorpius had long retired to bed. Mr. Cuddles, being the loyal pet he was, had also retreated. Thank Goodness for that, because Draco absolutely refused to come back inside knowing that he would have to share the same air with the thing.  
  
Harry rolled his eyes and continued putting away Scorpius' toys scattered around the living room, much to the dismay of Minny who tried his hardest to let his master rest.   
  
"Minny is fine cleaning the toys by himself, yes? Master Potter and Master Malfoy may go to their bedroom and have their lovers quarrel there," Minny suggested, looking much too desperate to get them to leave.  
  
Waving off the house-elf and ignoring the cry of disapproval when yet another toy went into the toy box, Harry walked up to Draco, placing his hands on the other man's cheeks.  
  
"Hey," Harry's voice had taken a softer tone, "What's wrong? If it scares you so much, then we can rid of it?"  
  
_Scared?_ Draco scoffed at the idea. Who would be scared of such a tiny, ugly bug?   
  
He brushed Harry's hands off his face. "I'm not scared of the blasted thing, I'm  _disgusted_ by it's vile appearance. Honestly, Harry, how do you expect me to have a decent meal with it's ugly mug eating food scraps right next to me?"  
  
"You don't want the Beezler because it's ugly?" Harry frowned at him. He seemed disappointed in him, as if he expected Draco to think better of it, "If I wanted to throw away every ugly thing in my life I'd never have accepted that painting from Narc- er."  
  
Harry blushed bright red at his fumble. He cleared his throat when Draco gave him a deadpanned look.   
  
"I'm grateful for the painting your mother sent us, really! It's just... it wasn't necessary for her to uh, go out her way like that! Y'know?" He fumbled over his words, obviously attempting not to spark another arguement.

"Save your excuses, _Potter._ I remember the shock on your face when you saw those ugly renaissance babies in the painting."

"No, I didn't mind them! Honest!" Harry waved his hands in front of his face, looking to Minny for help.

Minny's eyes widened as he realized that the conversation was rapidly going downhill.

"Minny must go flush the laundry down the toilets now! Goodnight, Masters!" The elf said frantically, disappearing with a _pop_.

"And we _did_  get rid of it, remember? We told mother a house elf accidentally set it on fire and to save herself the trouble from sending another." Draco glared at Harry. This time, however, he did flinch, "You told me that you didn't like it very much and I spared you the guilt and burned it in the fire myself. But at least _I_ had th _e_ decency to get rid of something _you_ didn't want, _Potter_."

Draco was breathing heavily. Had Scorpius and Mr. Cuddles not been upstairs resting, he would've yelled those words with much more venom.

"Draco..." Harry said slowly, moving closer even slower, "I do remember. It's just... That was a painting. Neither of us wanted it. We said we wanted a pet because we wanted Scorpius to have company that wasn't just house elves. A Beezler is the most loyal pet there is, not to mention the easiest to take care of."

He had his arms wrapped around Draco's waist at this point, tone as soft as it had been previously. 

"I don't want to upset you or fight with you, but Scorpius _loves_ Mr. Cuddles."

Harry was right. Of course he had to have a point. Damn him.

"Scorpius would be heartbroken if we got rid of him, ugly as the pet may be."

Nevertheless, Draco kept his own arms folded across his own chest. Harry noticed and unfolded them with one hand, holding one of Draco's own in his.

"And besides, you can't use the whole 'Potter' thing as insult considering you're going to be one really soon," Harry grinned before pecking him on the lips.

Draco hated giving into defeat, especially when he knew that he was in the wrong. But Harry had a way of making it so easy.

"I'm still mad at you."

"I know."

"His six eyes and eight legs will forever haunt me in my nightmares."

"I'll be beside you, there's no need to worry," Harry mocked. Draco narrowed his eyes at him.

"You're still a git for letting that thing in our house."

"I love you too." Harry smiled at him lovingly before peppering light kisses on his jawline.

Draco tilted his head back, moaning quietly when the kisses turned firmer, moving down his neck.

"I won't be forgiving you anytime soon, you realize?" He managed to gasp out, reaching for his lover's shoulders to pull him closer.

Harry simply hummed against his skin, allowing one of his hands to roam under Draco's shirt.

"W-When we go to have lunch with my parents, my father will be livid when he hears about the Beezler."

Harry pulled off from his neck, moving his mouth closer to Draco's own.

"Draco?" He whispered lowly.

The blonde almost let out an embarrassing moan at the sound. Instead he swallowed thickly, "Yes?"

"Don't bring up your father when we're about to have sex."

Harry took to nipping at Draco's collarbone, grazing at his pale skin with his teeth.

"Right," Draco agreed in a daze, all traces of anger replaced with need. He backed up against the wall, letting his head fall back as Harry began to unbutton his shirt.

Draco opened his legs wider, sticking one between the other man's legs. He grabbed Harry's ass, pulling him forwards so that his erection rutted against his leg.

"Oh, fuck," Harry panted, leaning his forehead against the exposed skin of Draco's chest, "Fuck, Draco." 

"Wait," Draco said. He grabbed the glasses off of his fiancés face before clinging them carelessly onto the carpet. "Continue," He instructed with a smirk.

Harry shook his head in disbelief with a fond smile, pulling Draco into a kiss.

Harry continued his grind against Draco's leg, groaning into his mouth every once in a while. 

Draco pulled away to shamelessly let his eyes roam over his lover's still clothed body. Merlin, what a sight he was. He'd fix the clothes problem soon enough.

While he was drinking in the sight of Harry rubbing his bulge against his leg, he felt a cold hand wrap around his cock.

He let in a sharp breath, thrusting upwards at the unexpected touch. 

"Yes," He moaned quietly. He was overly aware that they weren't the only two in the household, and everyone had a reputation of being light sleepers.

As soon as the touch came, it had left shortly after. Draco whined at the loss of heat, until he felt two arms wrap around him.

Harry began grinding faster, tightening his hold around Draco's waist and practically clawing at his back to keep himself at a steady pace.

Draco knew he was about to cum soon, and ran tangled his fingers through Harry's now sweat soaked hair. He tugged the man forward so his forehead rested on his shoulder.

"I want you to fuck me against this wall," Draco murmured in his ear, taking pleasure in Harry's whimper and desperate nod, "You still owe me, and I refuse to let you come only once tonight."

Feeling Harry moan into his shoulder, Draco turned to look at his lover. 

His eyes and teeth were clenched tightly as he snapped his hips in an uneven rythym. 

"You are so fucking sexy," He growled in Harry's ear. He started to nibble at the lobe.

Harry's whimpers began to turn into gasps.

"Draco, I- _Fuck_. _Draco_ ," Harry whined, clawing at his back.

"I got you, love," Draco reassured him, pulling him into an embrace.

" _Draco_ ," Harry sighed with a moan, his head thrown back. He groaned and let his head fall into the crook of Draco's neck. He rode through his orgasm with stuttered thrusts and low sounds of content.

Draco mumbled sweet nothings into Harry's ear until he felt him stop thrusting completely, panting against his neck.

"That will never not feel amazing," Harry panted out, pressing a kiss to Draco's throat.

"Yes, orgasms tend to do that to you," Draco chuckled in response.

"Speaking of which," Harry said slyly before pressing Draco harder against the wall, "I believe you mentioned something about being fucked against the wall?"

Draco could feel Harry's hot breath as he muttered back, "Do your worst, Ha- _Mr. Cuddles_?!"

Draco shoved Harry onto the floor, his body tensing up as he stared straight into the six offending eyes of the wretched beast.

"Holy fuck," Harry swore, mumbling a quick wandless cleaning spell. He whipped around with almost comical horror that Draco would've laughed at if he weren't so appalled himself.

To make matters worse, the Beezler began bounce up on and down on the carpet, staring straight at them.

Had Draco been looking at Harry, he would've seen the man's jaw drop wide open.

Draco, however, had gears turning around inside his head.

Beezlers only bounced when they were idle and bored.

It took a long while for the creatures to get bored.

Being idle meant that Mr. Cuddles had to have been floating there for a while, staring in the same exact direction that he is now, which is right where Draco and Harry -

" _You perverted flying fuck!_ "

**Author's Note:**

> Of course my French student ass had to include French speaking Draco into this fic so here are translations below.
> 
> And no I didn't use Google Translate because it is unreliable and evil jfc;
> 
> “Salaud." = "Bastard."
> 
> “Papa! Tu dois me’re deux cen'imes dans ‘e pot à insu’es!” = "Papa! You have to put two pounds in the swear jar!"
> 
> “C’est un centime,” = "It's one pound,"
> 
> “Mais…”  
> “‘Mais’...? Quoi, Scorpius?” = "But..." "'But'...? What, Scorpius?"
> 
> "Rien..." = "Nothing..."
> 
> "Déso-uah," "Désolé," = "Saw'ey," "Sorry,"
> 
> "Ça va?" = This one is kinda complicated to explain because it can mean many things such as "I'm fine" or "How are you?", but the way Draco is using it here is asking as a reassurance that Scorpius is okay.
> 
> "Oui," = Yes  
> \----  
> shit you guys im reading over the chapter for errors and it's so sinful im cjoked
> 
> but speaking reading over, thank you reaching the end of the chapter and reading this end note! 
> 
> Tag yourself im minny saying, "Minny must go flush the laundry down the toilets now!" and apparating away as he contemplates his very existence 
> 
> Comments are appreciated, whether they be constructive criticism or grammatical fixations in the chapter, or just whatever the hell you want to say. See you next time!


End file.
